A broke couple wants a free wedding at a church. The young lady is disappointed that a church is charging them. So, she writes a letter to a pastor to get his views. Well, the pastor gave her an earful. Plus, I share some words of wisdom for this young couple. Do you think it’s wrong for a church to charge fees for hosting a wedding?

Let’s get into it.

Table of Contents

• Listen to Podcast
• A Letter to a Pastor
• A Warning Before Getting Married
• A Big Wedding Doesn’t Make Sense (or Cents)
• Nothing in Life Is Free
• Even Jesus Had Expenses
• A Cheaper Alternative to a Church Wedding
• A Final Word
• Break Free From the Tithe Deception

Listen to Podcast

Please Note: The following post is an edited version of The Tithing Hoax podcast transcript.

Wait for a second! Read about the controversy over how much to give to the church and what you should do.

A Letter to a Pastor

A young lady in Jamaica sent a letter to a pastor. There’s this online publication where if you have questions, you can send your questions to a pastor and get your questions answered by this pastor.

The young lady wants a free church wedding.

Here’s her backstory. She says:

I am 23 years old, and I am engaged to be married. My boyfriend is not working. Every time we get a little money, something comes up, and he spends it.

My boyfriend comes from a large family and would like a large wedding. We went to see the pastor of a church, but it cost too much.

Why should a church charge folks to get married? These things should be done for free by the church.

A Warning Before Getting Married

Before I get into the pastor’s commentary, let me say this. There’s a whole lot of things wrong with what this sister said. And let this be a lesson to any sister out here listening to this right now.

Let me say this.

I’m not saying be a gold digger, but don’t you marry a broke (Fill in the blank). Shout out to Kanye West. I’m not saying to be a gold digger. But don’t you marry no broke (fill in the blank).

Okay, this is a young couple, which is fine. But this sister is engaged to a man who does not have a job. He is not earning an income. And whenever they get money, guess what? He spends it. That’s a problem; those are red flags.

Girlfriend, you may want to rethink getting married. Either rethink getting married to this dude or at this particular time. A man should be able to be gainfully employed and bring in income to help establish and sustain a household.

That is the least that a man needs to bring to the table.

Men, don’t you dare put a ring on a woman’s finger talking about marriage or engagement unless you bring gainful employment into that union.

Sisters, do not marry a man who is not financially equipped. He doesn’t have to be rich or a multimillionaire. But you need a man with a stable work history and gainful employment to sustain a household.

A Big Wedding Doesn’t Make Sense (or Cents)

This young couple is starting on the wrong foot. And here’s what’s so tripped out about it.

Now, this sister says she comes from a small family. If it were up to her, they would have a small wedding. But her broke boyfriend, who spends up the money they get, comes from a big family. So he wants a big extravagant wedding.

That doesn’t make any sense. The fiancé wants this big wedding with his broke self. And then think a church should do it for free.

Let me tell you what. If he wants a big wedding, he must have big money to pay for a big wedding.

Why don’t they wait until they are financially stable before getting married?

Here’s my advice for them.

Lay the proper foundation. Get your finances in order. But if y’all are coming together and don’t have two coins to rub together, get your coins before discussing marriage.

So, now let’s get into the other issue. The couple thinks the church should do the wedding for free.

Let’s see what the pastor has to say.

Nothing in Life Is Free

The pastor goes in. First, he tells her she IS so young and dumb. Now, he didn’t say that. I’m putting my spin on it. He’s like, girl ain’t nothing in life free. It’s different if the couple belongs to a church where you’re in good standing. There’s a possibility you good have a free wedding.

However, here’s the reality.

The pastor points out there are expenses a church incurs when hosting weddings. I did a little research to get the price for renting a church for a wedding. The cost ranges from $200 to over $3,000.

Many factors are involved with having a wedding at a church. These include the following:

• Number of wedding guests
• Rental hours
• Sanctuary cleaning (before and after)
• Toiletry provisions
• Facility sanitization

Additionally, the pastor says a warden must open and close the church. I guess a warden is similar to a security. I’m not sure exactly. The bottom line is that the couple must consider all these things.

This brings me to another point.

Even Jesus Had Expenses

There is a mentality that everything the church does for people must be free. Now, I don’t know who told anybody that. Because the fact is, nothing is free. There’s a cost for everything. So even when a church gives out something for free, somebody has to pay for the materials.

There’s always a cost associated with just about anything. I mean, come on now.

Let’s look at Yeshua’s ministry.

There were costs associated with his ministry. I have an article on The Tithing Hoax blog about wealthy people who supported Yeshua’s ministry.

His ministry had a treasurer. Who was the treasurer? Was it Judas? I’m not sure. You can double-check that. So, there were expenses and costs associated with Yeshua’s (Jesus’s) ministry.

Please, let’s get over this belief that anything associated with a church or God must be for free. This is a poverty mentality.

Plus, some people don’t like the church, pastors, or God. They believe churches that charge for anything are getting over on the people. And that is not always the case.

A Cheaper Alternative to a Church Wedding

Churches have legitimate overhead expenses, just like your house. That’s the bottom line. I’m sure you wish your utilities were free. I’m sure you want free groceries.

There are a lot of things we would like for free. But that’s not how the world works. So get over it. Stop expecting everything to be free.

So the pastor lets the young lady know this:

If you and your broke fiancé don’t want to pay for a wedding, go to the Registrar General’s department. Make arrangements and get married there. But he goes on to say that it isn’t free either.

I guess the Registrar General’s department is the equivalent of the justice of the peace. Again, nothing is free.

A Final Word

The pastor tells the young lady, “You need to be ashamed of yourself to believe that the pastor should do everything for free.” And then he closes off his comments like this.

If you don’t understand how the church works, boo boo, you need to shut up. Now that’s not what he wrote. But that’s the spirit I picked up.

So yeah, I’m with the pastor on this. A wedding shouldn’t be for free just because it takes place at a church. Now, if you belong to a church where you pay tithes and offerings, you may work something out with the pastor. But don’t be surprised if the church charges you something for that wedding.

Stop getting caught up in the fact that it’s a church. There’s a cost associated with hosting the wedding at that church. I don’t have a problem with a church charging for weddings.

By the same token, if your butt is broke and engaged to a dude who doesn’t have a job, think twice before marrying him. Or wait until you’re financially stable to afford the wedding you want.

Break Free From the Tithe Deception

Discover the truth about tithes the church doesn’t want you to know. Go here.

Source: I Want My Wedding to be Done for Free